EMO-ME
I’m almost certain I’m going to regret this, but I found some high school writing from freshman year that was just too . . . amazing . . . to keep to myself. You may go ahead and assume that the first person narrator is, in fact, me. And the boy? My freshman crush, of course, re-named “Gonzo” because I was, in fact, gonzo for the guy. And now, without further ado, I present, “Snow Day.”
Snow Day
I’m skiing at Badger by myself – ski bus brought me up.① I’m alone since all my friends went inside because of the snow. I’m standing in a rather short line when, all the sudden, Gonzo whizzes by and says “Hello” in his way.② So, Gonzo and I go up on the lift together. It gets cold and I notice that he’s only got a tee and down vest and jeans. No Gloves. I can see that he’s cold.③
So I casually say “Oh Gonzo, you must be freezing. Here, wear my gloves; I’ve got another pair in my pocket.” During which time I take his hands and stroke them like a mom who’s kid is cold.④
He skis much faster than I usually do, so I have to speed up a bit. He wants to take me down the dangerous run. I’ve never been down it, I admit. He says that he’ll get me down safely! It’s starting to snow. We take the scary run and race back to the lodge and he wins.
In the lodge, friends are talking about how nice the dangerous run was today. I put my head on the table and say, “I don’t need to hear it!” And suddenly I realize that the ski bus must have left already!⑤I’m in a panic, but Gonzo calms me down and says his friends can drive me down or I could spend the night with them. So he has me phone home and we all decide that it would be better to stay, because of the weather conditions.⑥
[long boring, well, even more boring section removed]
I get up after trying to sleep for an hour because the floor is so crowded with people that I can’t fall asleep. I go to the big window⑦ and sit watching the snow drift down. After maybe ten minutes I get really sleepy and comfy but just a little chilled. Then, Gonzo wakes up and asks me if I could use some company! I say “Oh yes!!”⑧ and he joins me on the deep sofa.⑨ I talk and he talks and I remember about my friend who just died and get tear-y.⑩ Then, I look up at him and he leans closer to me and kisses me very softly and briefly. I run my fingers through his thick, soft hair⑾ and we kiss mouth on mouth. He covers me with warmth and sweetness. After a short yet long while, he holds me face.
[At this point, the narrative switches into Elvish script, which I’ve gotten a bit rusty on, but I think there was lots more slobbery kissing goin’ on. And probably more running of fingers through hair.]⑿
Okay, blast-from-the-past is over. Seriously though, the next time you are worried about the quality of your writing, please feel free to stop by and re-read “Snow Day.”
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Notes:
① Look how chic I was! I wrote in present tense decades before it came in vogue! Note also poor use of en-dash followed by incomplete sentence.
② He says it in his way. Okay?
③ I fail to notice he’s an idiot. Hello—it’s snowing! And everyone else went inside!
④ Seriously debating which is worse: (a) that I want to be his mom or (b) that I wrote “who’s” instead of “whose.”
⑤ Second use of a form of “sudden” which is only allowed three times in an 80,000 word manuscript, according to my current rules.
⑥ Also because it will make the story more interesting. And! Look! I remembered to call my parents!
⑦ Way to make an adjective count! “Big”—wow, just, wow!
⑧ Because I just stepped out of the pages of a Louisa May Alcott book.
⑨ Again with the awesome adjective!
⑩ Because that always makes boys want to kiss you.
⑾ Okay, now I’m actually getting scared. Because if I remember right, this is something Sam wanted to do to Will in CHAMELEON.
⑿ Elvish? Really? Yes. Really. I told you HERE I was a nerd.
Also by the author of Snow Day
Ohgosh, I have a very similar (well, apart from the snow) story in one of my old diaries. Except I didn't even have the decency to change the names 😉
Oh, I changed the name from how it appeared in the original story. Because otherwise my sister will laugh her fool head off remembering me and "Gonzo." This way, there's a chance she won't remember who the dude was. 😉 So glad to amuse you!
LOL LOVED it… there's something truly awesome about a teenager's writing. And the exclamation marks! Wickedsauce!
So glad you liked! On the exclamation marks, I was surprised there weren't more. Maybe they were in the section written in Elvish characters . . . Thanks for stopping by!
You are brave to share, and I enjoyed it in a big, deep way. Heehee.
Ba-ha-ha, Rhonda! You are a clever, writer-ly sort. I can tell. Thanks for stopping by!
This was great, thanks for sharing! I started a story when I was 12 or 13 and have been working on it since and it's really interesting to see some earlier works from a published author.
Well, I had to let a very long period of time go by before this could see the light of day!
Keep up your writing, Me! And thx for coming over!